Family Fun(Not Really)

Where to start? This is my 3rd attempt at writing something along these lines. I had meant to write a little bit about Orlando, but it was not to be when and how I tried to say it.

Orlando was terrible and the tragedy has shown just how much vitriol and ignorance there is out there. It shouldn’t be the way it is, but such is life. I can choose to stay quiet and live in fear, or be open and fight the hatred towards the LGBTQ community as a whole. I may be anxious but I will stand up and not sit quietly waiting for things to change.

My week was not fun. Not only did I have the anxiety and other feelings to deal with because of the evil that was acted on in Orlando, also

First Time To Face Direct Discrimination.

Today I have been confronted by direct discrimination due to my sexual orientation and the fact I am married to a trans man. It was not an unexpected event, but it still hurts and I am all sorts of worked up. Knowing and the actual confrontation are different. Especially in light of I just publicly came out as pansexual and the Orlando massacre I am emotionally spent.

Today my sister has banned my husband and myself from being around her children. She is doing so because she feels that they will become confused and we are immoral. She said I am wrong to love my husband, and I am deluded to not see the truth. That hurt more than losing my nephews. I see the truth of my love for my husband and the love I get in return. I see the truth in his eyes when he tells me of the struggles he has as being misgendered.

I will miss my nephews, I love them both. It is sad my sister is teaching a lesson to her children she doesn’t see, and they are both too young to understand. Those little ones lose their Uncles because of personal viewpoints.

I am pretty emotional about the recent happenings in my life and this sadly has split apart my immediate family as well. I am angry, sad, distraught, hurt and so much else all I want to do is cry and scream.

So for today I will mourn. But I will still smile and when I process the emotions I will be OK.

When human hands do without discrimination the world will be a better place.

Ignorance & Reality by Lucky L

I wrote this after the news from Orlando, I wrote it because of the hate and strife I saw in various comment sections on news stories about the terrible hate crime committed against LGBTQ people. I am very saddened and am in thought about many things. A piece of peace would be nice, but the cost seems too high for many.

 

Ignorance & Reality
6/12/2016
By: A guy baffled that so many have so much hatred inside them.

A piece of peace
On a precipice
Falls quickly down

We are ignorant
Quite belligerent
All around

A piece of peace
Would be nice
But can it be

When we’re ignorant
And belligerent
All around

A piece of peace
Hard to find
Someday maybe

A piece of peace
On a precipice
Slowly tumbles down.

We Told Our Kids About The Transition.

Today was a little bit different for our little family. We sat down with the kids and told them about how mommy is trans. We have wanted to hold off but due to medical reasons my partner is being sprung into actively transitioning not just in appearance but also with hormones. He is being thrown into being open about it faster than we anticipated.

My children make me proud that they have grasped that people are just people. It has been one of the things we have always focused on, acceptance of others and who they are. All 3 of them did very well with the conversation and were interacting with it. They all seem to understand it and are like ok just be yourself mom, so happy for that.

My middle child was so happy that we were open about this, he was like I am glad that you are being yourself mommy. How amazing it is to me he has grasped so well the acceptance we have always tried to instill in our children. He made my heart melt, and I am beaming because of it.

My children are great and I hope they continue to grow and mature as they have. They are messy and stressful, but when you get down to it they are great kids and will be great adults one day. I know that they understand they can come to us about anything. I am glad we do not shelter them from life.

I am grateful that our family is able to just be who we are with eachother. I am glad to stand by the love of my life through this all and will proudly call him my husband. I am glad that our kids are not freaked out about the transition and are supportive of their mom. I am glad that my partner and I have kids who don’t care about anymore than their parents loving eachother.

My heart is swollen and my insides are smiling right now. I love my family.

Changing how I speak

With my partner’s transitioning I am at a place where I feel it appropriate to switch the pronouns I use when I am talking about him.

No longer do the feminine descriptors seem to fit. I am amazed at how comfortable it is for me to use his name when we converse. I have some anxiety associated with it as well, like having to remember where and when it is appropriate to refer to him by his name or not. This is just part of a very long process and I am glad to share the monumentous change in our marriage and lives with him.

We are essentially a gay couple now, I prefer us referred to as partners. Partnership is what marriage is all about, not in front or behind but at each others side. Partnership is not about ‘gender roles’, it is about picking up where the other is weak and helping with encouragement and love.

I love my husband and I am not afraid to say so. I still love him now just as much as I did when the first 14 near 15 years of our almost 16 year relationship that he was my wife. I am watching the person who I watched struggle so long with being a woman now becoming a man and I am here for him. He seems so much more at ease, happy and confident. It makes me happy to watch how he is coming to be himself.

 

 

Came out of the closet today. 😃

I finally got up the guts to share about my sexuality with my friends and family. I am so relieved to have finally done this, I have been struggling with it for years. But I have now come to embrace the fact I am pansexual and I am ok with it, and I must share my story in hopes it will help others.

I am just at a point in my life where I have come to realize that I am being detrimental to myself when I hide myself. Over the last couple of months I have learned to love myself, a first in my life. I would rather lose the untrue people in my life than keep the anxiety of hiding myself and who I am.

In a way I have finally learned advice I grew up hearing. Just be yourself and love yourself, and if you don’t like something about yourself it doesn’t mean you should hate yourself. It is something I wish I had grasped much earlier than these 35 years I have been around for.

I love me for me and it set me free.

 

 

My wife is becoming my husband

My partner and I have been married for 10 years now and together for 15. I called my partner wife until very recently. About a year ago she came to me and told me that she does not feel like a she or he but in-between. Over the last year through many discussions with me and others she has made a transition into living as a man. So now I have a Husband and not a wife, I love him just the same as I did when he was my wife, nothing has changed there. We are at the beginning stages of the transition now, and I am learning as much as I can to help be the best husband I can be.

My partner is FtM, not gender fluid as he first thought. It was really no surprise to me when he told me he can’t keep pretending to be a woman. I will walk by his side just like I always have, he is still the love of my life.

This will hopefully be my first post of many here and I intend to share as much as I can with my experience, back story and the process of going from a hetero relationship to being in a gay relationship.

I really hope to be able to encourage others in the same or similar situations that it is possible to make a relationship work no matter what. I am also sharing because there is not much in the way of positive outlooks and outcomes on the net.

Hearts not parts. Gender is just another label.